My life as of 8/12/2009

Well a lot has happened since I went to Amsterdam. First of all, I broke up with Patrick. He is a person I thought I knew, but it turned out I knew nothing about him. I will not go into details about anything because this is out for the entire world to see, but he is beyond low to me. I have closure and I am definately happy for that. I'm just extremely grateful that God didn't allow me to continue with the relationship and be oblivous to what was really going on behind my back. I know God has his own plan for me and I am ready to keep pushing on and moving on with my life.

I have also reconnected with an old friend. I have known Erick since probably about 5th grade...or maybe before that. He moved from Willis going into High School and I never knew what happened to him. Well about 2 years ago he found me on myspace and he was serving our great country in Iraq. We have always been in contact with each other since, but lately we have gotten really close. He lives in San Antonio...the really pretty part...and I have went to see him a couple of times. He is an amazing person and maybe in the future we can see where him and I can go, but right now is not the time for us. We both have a lot going on, but the connection is definately there. I once again put my faith in God knowing that if something is suppose to happen, it will regardless of the timing.

Work is amazing like always...

My play life is definately intense. I am always on the run..I'm talking everyday of the week. Weekends are jammed pack with fun that keeps my mind off of all the stuff I have been through in the last month and a half. Ever since I broke up with Patrick, my friends and I have been going to Rayburn every other weekend and living it up you could say. I am so fortunate to have such amazing people in my life...if I didn't I have no idea how I would adjust to the life change I have been going through. Everyone was there the day everything with Patrick happened and that meant the world to me. I just can't get over how blessed I am all-around. I have realized I need to worry less and live day by day. I am not that person to live day by day. I'm a planner by nature. I want to know exactly what is going to happen today, tomorrow, a week from now, and a month from now. But I have decided that this needs to change. I realized this from Erick. He is a person who only thinks about that day, not the next. He has so much appreciation of life since he was in Iraq for 14 months and saw death everyday. Tomorrow isn't promised and neither is a week or a month from now. This also helps my anxiety. Ever since Patrick and I have broken up, I have had some really intense anxiety...when I talk intense, I mean I have lost about 20 pounds in on month because of lack of appetite. I know it's not healthy, but I have regained my appetite a little, but just eating smaller portions and healthy foods, but still feel the anxiety and still losing weight.

That is pretty much it though. A lot of change and new feelings, but I'm a very strong person because of it. I wouldn't want my life to be any other way right now..maybe not the anxiety part, but everything else is exactly how I want it right now. You could ask me tomorrow and I might tell you something else, but as right now I am utterly excited and content for what is in store for me. I know I only deserve the best because I'm a good person and God has that in mind at all times.

This weekend is Rayburn for David's birthday. It's going to get a little crazy up there for sure. I will post some pics definately...

Until next time....

-A